Titles

I renamed this blog “The Company of Oneself” because I figured that I was mainly writing to myself, and I thought that the  phrase was nice.

I have recently begun to think about Zen a lot, and the concept of the “here and now”, questioning my ego, and so on. I’ve sat zazen only a couple of times, but I know that I’m going to benefit from the practice in the long run (the very long run: it’s going to be a couple of birthdays).

I read the title of this blog again, and I realized that “The Company of Oneself” describes zazen. You don’t sit to worship with a group; you aren’t in it to gain status among your peers. Yes, you can sit in a zendo with others (as I have done and will do countless times more) but it’s not required. When you become a buddha, you are the direct beneficiary of that experience.

Staring at a wall, trying not to think, realizing that you are one with the universe, that is being in the company of oneself.

Zentheist?

If you would let me, I shall now tell you a story from my childhood:

I was raised in a nondenom Christian household; my house was the Bible study house at one time. My mom used my Animaniacs cassette tapes to help us children remember biblical stuff. Remember that Nations of the World song that everyone loves? Replace the countries with the books of the bible, in order of appearance in the NIV.

I stopped being a X-ian was I was about 13 years old or so. I remember being in church with my family. Then, something in my head changed, and I looked around in the church (it was a big building, like an auditorium) and I asked myself, “Why are these people here? Why are they listening to that man talking? Why am I here?” After the long consideration of a few milliseconds, I came to the conclusion of, “This is stupid,” and nothing further.

To say that I became atheist by that time would be inaccurate, because I simply rejected what was presented to me on a conceptual level. I still behaved like a straight-edge X-ian, and I didn’t think/feel out what kind of person I needed to be.

After some years, I came to humanist conclusions, more or less, but I never quite believed that science as we know it (at the time of my thinking this in my earlier days till the present) does not have all the answers, nor will it ever.

[I'm going to leave that comment about science-belief unexplained for now, and see if I've fed any trolls.]

Very recently, I graduated college, and it’s lead me nowhere. I live at home, and work in a city that’s more than 60 miles away in one direction. Most of my time is working and driving, and nearly all of my money is spend in fossil fuels.

I was drifting into despair, the kind of despair that if you drift too far, you never come back from.

No matter how much I convinced myself that things weren’t that bad for me, both with my own intellectualism and the evidence of worse things from NPR (etc) still didn’t help. In fact, it made it worse.

And just at the point when I was frightening myself, I came across Zen. At the beginning of this week, I went to the MZC and I found myself in zazen.

I’m going to tentatively declare that my life is going to plot a new course, and I’m going to be steering that course sitting down.

Stay tuned.

‘Net Data Cap

Recently, AT&T has made a decision to place a 150 GB data cap on the transmission of data. The FAQ that is built on the website assumes that people who are subscribers are dumb apparently.

“150 GB is far more data than most customers ever use in a month.  Our average DSL customer uses only about 18 GB per month.  In fact, less than 2% of DSL users utilize more than 150 GB per month.  We estimate that 98% of our customers will not be affected by this change because the monthly usage allowance includes so much bandwidth.”

Come on, AT&T, do you really think that people need to be told that 98% figure when they already have the 2%? The people who  do need that figure are the same people that will accept the new rules without wondering…why now? Could it have anything to do with the net neutrality laws that are being tossed around?

My post isn’t going to be about that, though. My post is going to be my thoughts on how the ‘net can respond to this.

The data cap talks about user emails, but does it take spam into account? The data cap talks about streaming Youtube videos, but does it take annoying video advertisements into account? No, it doesn’t.

Plus, I don’t see this as one rule. I see this as the first in a series of rules. Rules that are going to be ever more constrictive on the free internet, or at least, the once free internet.

One thing that we can do to fight against this is to increase compression capabilities for the data that we wish to send over the internet. Instead of torrent downloads of entire files, perhaps we can instead torrent compressed files? Surely, we cannot stop torrenting, because that was the battle that was won in court, and it retains a decentralized way of doing things that makes it different from downloading it from the cloud.

And what about the cloud? A majority of applications and industries have migrated to the internet in order to do their business. Are song download pay sites going to suffer? Perhaps they will create a proprietary compression format, along with an app, that you can load into your computer and pay for supercompressed songs, so you don’t have to worry your pretty little head about giving AT&T or Comcast your money, so you can give it to the song downloader instead.

The point is, that the internet is like a newly discovered continent. First, the crazies migrate there, and establish their own thing. But then, the Establishment comes in, and imposes the same old same old, and claims it as its own territory, and eventually turns it into a protectorate.

So… who wants to create a Pirate Internet?

My first idea is to somehow utilize amateur radio as the transmission medium. And comments?

Python Code: Cupcake Monster

So, one project that I’ve started recently, due to a suggestion by my sister, is to learn how to program. Well, I said to myself, I already have Python loaded into my computer…so let’s do this!

Well, after making the switch to Python 3.x, downloading IDLE, and playing around with the language, I came up with CupcakeMonster.py. I would copy and paste here, but it wouldn’t read very well, so I just printed from GVim and got this pdf for you all to enjoy: CupcakeMonster.

Heat Matters

WARNING: LONG POST

Over the years, I’ve seen many different technological articles about alternative ways of producing energy, cooking food, cooling buildings, and so on.

My thing has always been, why not combine these elements into one big system? The advantages of one system can be appropriated to cover the disadvantages of others.

For instance, take the SCORE system that I read about a long time ago. It’s being researched, but the basic idea is that you have a wood fire that cooks something, and the extra heat is converted into electricity, and by the way of Stirling engines, also converted into refrigeration. Wow, right? Then, I read about rocket stoves. Cooking with twigs? That is also an amazing thing.

So I figured, hey, why don’t we combine the two? The SCORE system would simply use a rocket stove component in it’s heating chamber. That way, the stove could operate off of twigs, and make volts and ice!

Well, today, I went on a energy tech walkabout, and I found a few more things that are interesting to me. Firstly, I found micro-CHP. The idea works off of cogeneration, which is to use waste heat from power generation for other things, such as water heating. The “micro” part describes the concept of residential-sized applications. This NYT Green blog post talks about her freewatt.

From that vein, I looked into absorptive refridgeration, and that led me to this Youtube video:

A little doo-hicky that you put in a fire, and it then chills water for 24 hours? This is even better for mobile applications, especially camping. The way I see it, you could have a rocket stove made out of a tin can, cook some food, heat up that thing, then have nearly freezing water for all of your beer! The humanitarian application of the mobile refrigerator is obvious for nomadic peoples, and unindustrialized peoples in general.

Then, I saw this video, also from TED, about a new solar panel:

It’s a little bit longer than most uploads, but it does make an interesting point about the role of different technologies, and how they can benefit each other. The two main innovations for this device, is the use of microchips and servos to adjust the mirrors (because mirrors like this have been used before) and the use of the Stirling engine in the center to generate electricity, as opposed to using the heat to produce steam.

One thing that he presents in the video as a side note, that immediately grabbed my attention, was the option of heating water with the system. I don’t consider that an option; I consider that a big opportunity. That extra heat could create a Sunbelt version of the freewatt system that the Green blog post was talking about. The use of heat clearly can be used for refrigeration, as with Grosser’s device.

Since our command of electricity, we’ve been connected on a grid. This electrical grid is the focus of our energy development, but perhaps we should start focusing on the “heat grid.” After all, in a warming planet, we shouldn’t let any of that heat go to waste.

Neglected Friendship

Last night, my friend Anne told me that she was seeing somebody, and it was going really well. It has been an unexpectedly good two weeks. My first reaction was, “good for you” but then I had this deep feeling of emptiness. When did this happen? Am I not in the loop anymore?

Just about this time, the over-reactive nature of my emotions kicked in, and I couldn’t help but feel that this was a continuation of  the trend that I had been acutely aware of before: I’m losing most of my friends.

Did I ever talk to Eli, one of my best friends? No. Did I ever talk to Anne anymore? Hardly. I haven’t talked to Travis since I borrowed Heaven Lake from him. I still haven’t finished it. What about Grant, who’s been trying to get a hold of me to discuss his poetry? No chance. Cassondra says that she misses me. Shit.

And what about the whole mess of people that I’ve only talked to one or two times recently or at all, but I desperately want to hang out with, like Johnny, Karissa, Angela, Tiger, and so on? Or just connect with? Or whatever?

Then there are the friends I have close to me in Union (Ricky, Tony and Laura) that I never have time for either. Distance isn’t an excuse here.

With all of these feelings and semithoughts, I teared up. Couldn’t help myself.

So today, I am going to write a letter of apology:

Dear Neglected Friends,

I have not been very easy to get a hold of, and I don’t see that changing any time soon. I can’t afford to get a regular phone plan, so right now, I’m using a Tracfone; happily donated, gratefully used. The best way for me is to use WiFi and text people.

I live  out in Beaufort again, so now I drive constantly, and I’m never anywhere consistently. It’s a real drain on my income and my sanity, but it’s the only choice I have right now.

I have recently acquired a second job. I now work for the CCSCSTL and Haveli’s. I’m not going to have much time for unplanned hangouts.

All of this is upsetting to me. What happened? When I lived in the city, it was really easy to have all of you as friends, even when I worked like a dog at Steak ‘n Fake.

I know that I’m in a transitional period. I’ve lost things; I’m going to lose more. I’m prepared to let go of nearly all of my possessions that I don’t truly need. But, I don’t want to lose any of you. But, well, it has to go both ways, and all of you are busy too.

Anarchism

So, I was at the Carpenter Branch of the St. Louis Public Library, caught without my Bag ‘O Things that I normally bring with me (computer, library book that was due that day, among other things) so I decided that I was going to read books until it was time for me to get my laundry from Tiny Bubbles.

I stalked the stacks for a good thirty minutes. This branch didn’t have any programming books on Python; the majority of that part of the collection was C languages. I looked at the Windows books, and the C books, and the correlation between the two in my mind will never cease.

As I was stalking, I thought back to the “incident”. The last time that I was at that branch, I was at the same table as an older man. He had his laptop out, but he  kept getting up from his seat to make phone calls in between some nonfiction shelving. (Everybody in that branch takes their phone calls…I have mixed feelings about it) During one of these moments, a kid walked slowly up the to computer, then bam! snatched it and took off running.

I was stunned, and the kid got half way to the door before I knew what was happening. I did manage to get on my feet and start running after the kid too, but my legs weren’t quite with it either. No one else did anything.

During the time between the man leaving the building to the man coming back, I was thinking to myself: what are you going to do? You don’t have your glasses on right now, so you wouldn’t be able to give an account that would be construed as accurate. What about all of these other people. They were motionless. Does this happen all the time, and these people know the result? Or were they simply afraid? Apathetic?

The man came back, with bag in hand. The moment that he figured out what had happened, he and a police officer chased the kid down Grand towards Gravois. The kid tossed the bag aside, to make sure he got a clean getaway, I suppose, and the man recovered his bag.

I stalked the stack for just a little more, but I wandered into the tech books again. I considered whether or not today was a good day to pretend to want to learn C, when I saw this: The Ubuntu Linux Toolbox. I looked at it for a while, but I needed my computer there to really make a difference. I read it for a little while, but I had to put it down –I was starting to get tired.

So, I stalked some more, and I found this: Anarchism for Beginners. I’ve read “for Beginners” books often enough before, specifically Eastern Philosophy and George Orwell. So, I knew I could read most of the book in one sitting.

The book talks about the history of the nonconformist movement, and so on and so forth. Two things I got from this book: the criticisms of the socialists throughout the book, and a re-fired sense of hatred of the System.

If there was no possession-ship, so differential of wealth, then that kid would’ve had no reason to steal that man’s computer bag, unless he was just a thrill seeker.

Evolution

For all of those people that are tracking my footsteps through cyberspace, you may be confused yet again. Or frustrated. Or, even more likely, they see a pattern of negligence that reflects the person.

Namely, me, Sam Hatfield.

In a recent assessment of my character, I’ve come up with a simple breakdown; I am: intellectually proactive, bodily reactive, emotionally over-reactive, and motivationally inactive.

The “motivationally inactive” part is the most important. I realized that most of my life’s actions have been at the behest, or perceived behest, of others. My living space has always been the least clean; I don’t care for myself very well. And the majority of my free time is socializing, reading, or playing games (whether tabletop or flash).

In other words, when I’m having “me” time, it’s spent taking other things in. Perhaps, it’s healthier if I bring things out sometimes. I need to make things. Otherwise, I’m just a repository, not a dynamic being.

So, I’m now going to use this blog as a my repository. My plan, to mostly stop on Facebook, and channel my online energy here. The next series of posts will be made in rapid fire fashion, so we all can “catch up”.

I shall enjoy the company of oneself.

Direct Connection

I believe that the universe is a holistic one, meaning that I think that all parts of the cosmos, all of the particles within it, are fundamentally connected. Yes, the connection is dependent upon the distance of the particles (inverse square law), but all particles are all part of the same Being, even if in flux. I first came up with this idea when I was first exposed to Heraclitus and Parmenides.

I’ve thought for a long time about the true nature of the connection of particles, and one thing that always baffled me was the action of repel forces in nature. The idea of everything somehow being connected is hard to believe when, in electromagnetism, opposites attract, but same charge/magnetic pole repel each other. This, at least, has always bothered me.

On this particular day while I was thinking about this, I reasoned that the connection between things is normally thought to be in a indirect relationship: the closer two particles are (the lower the distance), the stronger the forces become. So, when two large objects in space are closer, the force of gravity increases.

But what about direct connections? Is there any way that the connection between two  things increases as distance increases?

This idea would say that the electromagnetic connection between two same-charged particles grows stronger as they move apart. To increase this connection, they do so.

It’s not a complete thought… but we’ll figure it out.